If you’ve never been to counselling or you’re unfamiliar with how therapy works you might not know how much you can achieve from your efforts. Therapy is an amazing process that can help you change from within.
These three counselling stories describe my clients’ experiences in working with me. They are based on real clients with real life experiences. (Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.)
“I was over-reactive with everyone and it was showing up everywhere. . .”
I knew my attitude at work was a problem. It was a puzzle for me. At one level I enjoyed my colleagues. But somehow they always seemed so condescending. And this wasn’t the first time. This had happened before . . .
But the pieces came together eventually and I realized the common denominator was me.
I got to work on changing this pattern in therapy. I never realized I had such strong feelings about myself that were attached to this pattern. But I did.
Counselling opened me up to a new awareness within myself. It was a shock to discover that deep within I felt like I didn’t matter. As I started incorporating what was going on physically and emotionally, not just mentally, it was like parts of me reorganized themselves. I started to feel better.
This sense of self-sacredness developed. Today when I’m interacting with colleagues I sometimes feel stirrings of the way I used to be. I’m amazed. I don’t go there anymore.
“I felt I couldn’t do anything right. I came to therapy feeling so confused.”
My life just wasn’t working. I had a wonderful marriage and my first child. Life should have been good, but it didn’t feel like that. I realized that things that had happened in the past were still affecting me.
Before I met my husband I had been in an abusive relationship. I went to therapy for a while after I got out of it, but I knew in my heart that I never really dealt with the issues. I was just so relieved to be out of that relationship.
I discovered in counselling that different experiences impact different people in different ways. Experiences shape who you are and they can change you.
“I knew I had to do something.”
I was fearful of going into therapy. I didn’t want to open up Pandora’s Box. But it wasn’t like that. As we worked on little things, big things changed. It was amazing how dealing with little things opened up space for a shift in the big things.
“It’s like I just hit the wall.”
I was working so much and all I wanted to do was have a successful date. I kept asking women out, but all the “No’s” just piled up. So I gave up.
My doctor said I was depressed. I tried medication. That helped a bit (my problem didn’t seem so urgent). But it didn’t change the underlying problem.
I just wanted to meet someone and have that part of my life be successful too. All my friends told me I was a great guy. I could make people laugh and I have a great social life. So how come I just couldn’t get a date?
“I didn’t know I was getting in my own way.”
At one level I was funny, outgoing and had a lot to offer. But at another level I didn’t feel like I was good enough to have someone in my life.
It wasn’t until I started dealing with things at that level that my life started to change. It wasn’t a smooth ride. There were setbacks. But every setback I overcame cleared the way ahead.
“I kept moving forward.”
I began to feel different about myself. I started having successful dates. I started feeling good enough. And then I met someone who I could move forward with.
Needless to say, that old feeling is rarely triggered anymore.